SPX +0.42%    VIX -1.8%    UST 10Y +4bps    BTC +2.1%    HY OAS +8bps    SOFT LANDING BASE CASE   
Finance insider humor, professionally over-engineered

Desk flex for people paid in basis points.

Bloomberg-coded toys, credit sales survival tools, golf accessories, and gag gifts for PMs, traders, bankers, allocators and everyone who says “can you sharpen?” without irony.

ALPHA INDEX+12.4%
BUY DIP CAP38.00
FED GAVEL95.00
RISK FREE SOCKS18.00
VIX MOOD RING29.00

> RUN GIFT_SCREEN FOR FINANCE PROFESSIONALS
> RESULT: STRONG BUY
> POSITION LIMIT: PERSONAL BONUS
CAN YOU SHARPEN? • PAST PERFORMANCE IS NOT INDICATIVE • LONG CONVEXITY • TALK TO ME IN SPREADS • MARK TO MARKET • HIT <GO> • CAN YOU SHARPEN? • PAST PERFORMANCE IS NOT INDICATIVE • LONG CONVEXITY • TALK TO ME IN SPREADS •
BBG
Hero Product

Full Bloomberg Terminal Replica

A miniature dual-screen desk object with amber-on-black display, full keyboard detail, faux function keys and enough presence to make your MD ask where you got it.

$249Executive desk size
Dual screenTerminal aesthetic
LimitedFounder's drop
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